Everything is beginning to fall into place, as I'm checking items off my list of "Missions To Do". I got a couple more items checked off my list yesterday: the Meyers-Briggs personality test and the Chaplain's interview. Seems small, but I'm that much closer.
The personality test wasn't hard at all, except for the last section with problem-solving questions. My goodness, you'd think I was applying to Medical School! Number sequences, fraction division and word problems all stared at me from the page. I should have had that extra cup of coffee I declined... But I'm a smart girl and I think I got them all right. I did some scratch work and confidently filled in to corresponding bubbles. I was just smoothing the edges of the last circle when the administrator came in and... Well... Apparently, I wasn't supposed to write on the question booklet. Haha. I knew that... At least they fed me lime water and nanaimo bars.
Right after, I ran to the Chaplain's office and had an interview. His approval takes my application to the committees that give the final go verdict. I was really nervous because I had decided to be completely honest about the depression issue and I didn't want him to recommend I didn't go. I trust him a lot and he would be the first person I would go to with questions and problems, but this was something that could affect my future! I am not willing to let anything stop me and if my university doesn't approve my application, I'll pack a backpack and go anyway. But I said a prayer and walked into his office.
I should have trusted God a bit more on this one. Pastor A listened to what I had to say and when I said that some of my depression comes from a sense of guilt that I wasn't doing more for other people, he said something that few people have ever mentioned to me before. 'It's ok to take care of yourself.' He told me that Jesus left the crowds and the cities and the noise to go up to the mountains to pray because He needed to take care of himself. I had never thought of that before, strange as it may sound. It was pure relief to hear that I don't have to always be serving to have a servant heart. There are times when I need to recharge and relax and fill myself up so I can give to others.
The verdict was his approval and he supports me in my decision to go. That means a lot to me because I truly respect him and look up to him. He's balanced and understands that people don't have to be (and won't be) perfect. I trust him and his opinion matters to me. So with his approval, I feel the apprehension dropping away more and the excitement growing.
So, my list of things to do is shrinking. Two down, one hundred to go...
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